| (no subject) |
[Aug. 10th, 2007|04:49 am] |
So I thouht I was over this, I thought I had moved on but oh how I was wrong. |
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| shut up and listen |
[Jul. 12th, 2007|08:34 pm] |
dear clueless,
i have a thing for you.
this is all, just needed to tell u
sincercly,
patheticly waiting. |
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| spinning my wheels |
[Apr. 21st, 2007|01:19 am] |
| [ | music |
| | Dark Blue -- jack's Mannequin | ] |
I always find myself the constant third wheel, and im always oblivious. Until its to late to get out. fuck you.
this happens to me the same time every year. spring luv sucks.
--- why can't i type for shit right now. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 20th, 2007|12:26 am] |
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in everyone's life there comes a time when you wake up all alone and you can't blaime anyone but your self. After the "awesomeness" of last night and going through the fragments of the events between the sips and sloppy word exchangles . Sliding out of yet another bed in the early morn racing the sun as if you make it home before the sun rises it never really happened, Sealy, Serta or what ever his name was, was only a bad dream. |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 8th, 2006|03:14 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  discontent | ] |
im not hurt, im not a broken spirit needing repair Im no longer hiding sad faces behind a walls andmasks. in reality im not sure i ever did, only felt like i should feel sad instead i feel nothing. i really am just that calous. ive never asked for your love or to be included in your twisted lie you call family. we've been at odds this whole time let's not pretend we can fix it now. i dont blame you, you did what you could but the truth is it just wasn't enough. |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 24th, 2006|12:32 am] |
i would be stuck in a this barron land with nothing to do. a run down of whats sucks here:
family i dont like
the state of ohio
annoying dog
killer dog
the possiblity of being mauled in my sleep
having noone to keep my stupid ass step-dad in line.
fuck this shit sucks |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 5th, 2006|10:46 pm] |
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this is an odd feeling... if only i knew what or why |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 4th, 2006|11:16 pm] |
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the truth is that i am angry. it is with u. u asked about hypocrisy. i cant tell u im angry and i dont know why. oh well. |
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| move over chump; there's a new dweeb in town. |
[Sep. 30th, 2006|11:17 pm] |
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i dont really like this. i dont really like another boring weekend. i need freinds. its pathetic but true. i cant bring myself to tlak to people im sure that cant be normal. the people i meet go out and drink with people i dont know and one dont drink to dont wnat to bearound a whole bunch of drunks i dont know. i hope this gets better. it prolly wont and ill prolly spend a couple more sweekneds sitting here alone in my room in this same spot feeling the same way. pathetic to the max. |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 29th, 2006|01:03 am] |
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som people say alcohol release u from ur inhabitions, maybe i like mine maybe i dont want to be that much of me. is that so wrong. |
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| come save me. im ready to bust this joint. |
[Aug. 28th, 2006|12:13 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | lonely and bored... | ] |
| [ | music |
| | right now- danity kane | ] |
im here in the valley... i dont love it. i wanna go home. i dont hate i guess. i feel overwhelmed and classes dont start. and being shy doesnt help cuz i don't talk to people. i think i have a problem . oh well. and the three of u who read this, don't know me as shy well the truth is i dont talk to people i dont know.. well in conversation i can yell at people from car windows like no other. and i can inform people of the sale a boston market 'whole chicken 1.99'. but im not a conversationalist and that can be a problem i guess. i like my roomate and suitmates. there nice,other then there overuse of the words chick magnet and ghey and the constant sounds of videogames. there was a wierd moment when my roomate put me in a weird position i wasnt a fan of that but i guess it was all for the best. i wanna go home. for labor day but my mom wants to go to some rinkadink town near lake michigan and all i wanna do is go home see some people and i 'wanna go there.. right now' ;). but im tired and its quiet now so i think im goign to go to bed. time to start a streak of failure tomarrow wish me luck. |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 14th, 2006|07:01 pm] |
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i hate her!!! she says i cant go out until i have my room cleaned and i cant actully do that untill im completly packed im so angry i cant believe she would try to do this to me the last week before i leave i hate her. how dare her. how rude. im so sick of her. |
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| 'girls would die to have ur hair' |
[Aug. 14th, 2006|06:37 pm] |
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today was nice, not akward. it was nice to see things weren't to different things could be normal. well as normal as we would let them. getting there i was effin terrified and for what i really couldn't answer. but when walked in all of that just went away. |
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| its so hard to say hello? |
[Aug. 13th, 2006|11:07 pm] |
im nervous. point blank nervous. it seems like so long since we've talked. even longer since we've been face to face, whats tomarrow goign to be like. im sure they'll be more then a few akward silences. i just hope that we can be good old times. when we were just freinds and every thing was so simple when things were a little 'nerdy' and i was a little 'different'. i cant say its not my fault that we've grown apart. I mean, i know time tears people apart but there was just a time when i couldn't think to call u cuz i would get unexplainably nervous. i kinda hoped u didnt pick up so i didnt have to deal with things being differnt. tomarrow will be sitting face to face. we've grown so much, will u hate who ive become, will i hate who u've become. with so many of my friendships nearing thier expiration date i hope that this one can last.
in other news i finally got my computer and i love it. its my current baby. pebl step aside. |
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| I think the heat wave melted my candles before the flame could reach |
[Jul. 31st, 2006|08:29 pm] |
my birthdays have kinda sucked in the past years. so being that my birthday is on wensday, its safe to say im not exaclty excited.there will be no rented clubs, tantrums over centerpeices, and defiently no group of people i barely know pretending to be my bestfriend gushing over the car that is supposed to be a suprise. this wont be sweet.
wensday will prolly involve me renting sixteen candles, it seems alittle appropriate.
i want to go to the cute is what we aim for concert on the third but my mom will go all rest nazi on me and i really dont want to deal with that, the heat wont allow it.
tomarrow is my first day back at work in a week and that will be rough at best. I was just getting into the groove of a really mondane meaningless job. then to get a week off, a week to realize this job is not ok really is going to fuck up my work moral tomarrow. maybe ill be washed away in this wave of heat only to settle in the double stacked bodies. Or maybe an interactive game of frogger, anything that would end work early seems like a god sent. i think i quit next week, so ill keep my eyes closed real tight and when i open them ill be in green pastures. wait, thats work. put me inside and airconditioned room thats my promise land. |
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| its the end of the world as we know it. |
[Jul. 17th, 2006|06:34 pm] |
| [ | music |
| | cartel-burn this city | ] |
'our days were numbered by nights on too many roof tops'
i have had entirely too much fun doing absoultly nothing. work sucks i guess cuz im sick and thats really making things bad. a sick field slave doesnt last long in 90 degree weather. loitering while selling crack rocks, and our souls and bodies was tons-o-fun. we just stood on the cornerof borders across from the michigan theater, randomly screaming and greeting people as in any mannor-minded crack dealer should. in explanation this sounds like a REALLY dumb was to spend an evening but it really way alot of fun.
the next day after driving to novi to ask a drugged out sales person some random questions, i went to play flash light tag in the woods which turned out to be a huge group of people, people I could never see running through the woods littered with crack pipes and the occasional pair of underwear left after a disgusting quickie in the woods, in the middle of the night with just a flashlight. And i was right because the same people i couldnt see playing convinced us all not to play because it was too hot and humid. understandable i guess. so we went to starbucks well some went to starbucks and another group went to seven elven, with the plans of meeting at the duggout, to agian loiter and trespass. only a selected few went to the duggout which is prolly for the best it can only fit so many people, with everyone we had the roof was almost completely full. We just laid up there. laughing, talking, watching and wishing upon the shooting stars, being cliche and loving it. wishing that things could never change, that we could be like this forever.
on a lighter note we then walked over to 'esta'brook and worked on our stripper moves. i was the sweetest. who knew it took so much upper body strength to be a sweet stripper. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 26th, 2006|07:26 pm] |
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my first day wasnt that bad i guess. i know ill hate it prolly by tomarrow. but i really didnt do much i spred grass seed for awhile and spent alot of time riding in a club car wasting time. i really didnt learn much about doing the job but i did learn how not to do the job. im like the youngest one there by about a good two years at least. but its money i guess, that will prolly be cruely snatched from my fingers the second i get it but what ever. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 24th, 2006|04:49 pm] |
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my mom finally let a piece of me go and let me get a cell phone. some of u may know the long raging battle ive had with my mom over letting me get a cell phone and she finally let me.holla. and whats better is that she's paying for everythingi was excpecting to pay for the phone but she paid.im goign to go play with my baby. bye bitches. |
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negroswithguns's journal
angry